My Home

Sometimes I feel my home is like the GAZA strip.

I always listen to the fights between my father and my mother ( for almost few decades now).

They fight, quarrel, abuse and it continues for hours .

At least there is a ceasefire in Palestine-Israel conflict, there is no ceasefire at my home.

It continues for hours, days and months, nonstop without any interruption.

Words are exchanged, mother in laws and father in laws names are taken.

I watch in silence, just witnessing, sometimes trying to calculate who will win this one, just like an Indo-Pak match, but I am sure not to take sides, least I may get ripped apart.

But over the years it has become a joy now to listen to their fights, fully understanding that emotions and understanding are not about artificial-ism they have to be real, one does not fight if you don’t have the love for the other person.

Now if they don’t fight  they may not be able to sleep well and if I don’t hear them fight I cannot sleep well.

When I reach home and listen to them fight, I know everything is alright.

Love has many dimensions; it can be expressed in different ways just that is needs to be original.

And thank gods that India does not have gun and bullets freely available as in the US.

The story of a stolen mobile

With eyes set on the interview he set out for the new horizon

Alas did he know the horizon would be far to his reach

With the venue address stored on his mobile as an sms he set out to get his elusive job

But alas this would be his last time he would see his mobile

He checked the time least he should be late ,It was 10:47,well ahead of his scheduled time

But alas did he know that would be his last time he checks the time on his mobile

And when he reached mahim, he found something amiss

Ohhh shit!....his mobile had been stolen!!

Forget the interview ,I have to get my mobile back, he rushed to the police woman at mahim ,"Nahi apko ‘dadar' mein complain karna padega,chori  vahaan huaa hai” ,dadar the place where I boarded the train.

At dadar railway police station,

He said: Sir my mobile has been stolen , a few important contacts are there.

Police:” jakar  mobile bill lekar aao”,(it sounded  like 'uske baap ka sign lekar aao jisnee mobile banaya hai'...)

I said Err “bill “,I mean teen saal pehle liya hai sir mobile,bill toh nahi hoga."

Police :IMEI no? ( sounded like a moorse code expression)

"Sir, doondtha huaan".,he replies.

I reach my service provider

Sir IMEI chahiye ?police complain karna hai?

Service Provider: "Yahaan nahin.....jaoo jahaan se mobile khareda hai,  ussse poocho"..(It sounded as 'uska sign leke aao jisne mere mathe par likha hai .mera mobile chori ho gaya')

At the mobile store: "jaoo  gallery main dail karo ,we keep records for only for last  three years.gallery has all the records"

Gallery: tells “Mail karo" 

Finally  I mail to mobile store for my IMEI no. to make a complain. and wait to hear from them.

Alas if only had he made that one last call.

My humble request  to the person who stole my mobile."Please return me my mobile...do not worry at all. I will ask the governor to pardon you."

The word I learnt in 2012 : Retrospective

Olympics and Oscars a gateway to showcase Indian diaspora globally.

                     

Last year my vocabulary was increased by a word called retrospective. Thanks to Vodafone.

It appealed in the SC and got a order in its favour.Vodafone was asked to pay taxes for its takeover of Hutch in India.It claimed it had no authority over a company in Switzerland.GOI argued it as a case of no taxation and unlawful as its fixed assets were in India.The GOI brought a constitutional amendment called as the famous 'retrospective amendment'.

Now lets think if the world would  go retrospective what would happen

The judge pronounced  :

Ranbhir kapoor and Deepika , married retrospectively ,from 2002.

Vidya Balan decided to get pregnant retrospectively from the time she started acting.

Jury decided to give Aamir Khan , awards ,retrospectively from 1991.

Oscars was given to Shah Rukh khan  for Paheli,retrospectively.

Retrospectively Olympic committee decided to give gold to PT Usha and Milkha Singh.

Couple decided to get divorced retrospectively,i.e. again 2002 ,just a day after marriage.

Judge gave life term to the rapists retrospectively ,before the crime itself.

Students started being paid ,retrospectively,for attending schools and colleges.

On a more serious note, a school nearby has decided to raise fees retrospectively,from april 2012,just curious to know if government would follow suit, to raise fuel  prices retrospectively.

===Awards Hangover.

The Dilemma of a Political Aspirant

                         Decisions are easy when  no options are left.-P.V.Narasimha Rao

Being unemployed and having no work to do, my attention was captured by Indian politics and since ,one is required to join a political party to enter politics,  I decided to do a primitive study  on Indian political Parties so that i could make up my mind  on which political party to join.


Since I am in the habit of watching pornography,I thought why not join the Bharati Janata Party,I am sure the latest clips would be easily accessible.

But then since I am also a great admirer  of Lokpal I thought why not be in Congress.

But then since I am against any petrol price hike why should I not be in the Left front.

But then  since I am very ambitious and  would want to be the prime minister at the earliest though dont have the numbers why not join the Nationalist Congress Party (Read close to  sharad pawar) .

But then since I am very clear that i am  not a beggar I thought why not join Didi, and Trinamul Congress Party.

But since I am very keen to do it  all alone I thought why not join the the Bijju Janata Dal .

But since I am very found of historical monuments why would I not join the Bahujan Samaj Party.

But since my friends from bihar  plan to get employed in MOON as there are no opportunities remaining on earth and i being  unemployed, and as the reality prises in Mumbai are getting no better, i am sure Mr Nitish kumar being  a visionary as he is , joining  Mr .Nitish Kumar and Janata Dal (United) would be a very good option.

But then i am not used to attending my school from the school days,I am sure joining the DMK would be the best option as I would not be required to attend the parliament at all.


After having gone through  the fundamentals of all the like minded parties I am very sure the election commission would consider my dilemma and bring about certain REFORMS so that I am able to join multiple like minded partied simultaneously.